Lets hit on your Mother, sister, and friends, pun intended! These people give you lots of great advice throughout your life but the advice they give you about love SUCKS! I am going to hit on some of the biggest lies ever told to you by the ones you love about love.
Be yourself - Yeah, if that worked you wouldn't be reading this post. I am by no means advocating that you lie to people but everyone can work to improve their current self. There will be whole posts later that deal with a few basic improvement techniques that will help you accentuate the great things about yourself and develop new and interesting qualities that will draw positive attention to you.
Be confident - Success breeds confidence and if you have been unsuccessful socially it is going to be very hard to be confident in social situations. Even if you are able to fake it most women will see right through your facade. In short you will look pathetic.
Be funny - Yes, being funny can draw positive attention to yourself but it is by no means a key to attracting a beautiful woman or friends. The problem with being "the funny guy" is that if you are reading this blog you are "the funny fat guy." I have been there believe me it's not a title you want to inherent. The key isn't being funny but being FUN. Crack jokes when it's appropriate but also have other interesting things to talk about. Also keep in mind that although perverted jokes are the funniest they can easily turn you into a pervert.
Be rich or drive a nice car - I live in an area that hasn't been too affected by the recent down turn of the economy and I know many semi-successful and well paid guys. Many of these guys are single and lonely. They work so much they can't go out very often and the only people who see their bad ass car is the other drivers at 7am and 5pm while driving to and from work. The truth is you don't want to drive a nasty car that is dirty and people are afraid to get in it but also remember to drive a car that fits you. Fat guys like us do not need to drive really small cars because we look funny driving it and trying to get in and out. If I could get my friends to just give me they money they have spent buying girls drinks, I would be a rich man. Just don't do this, it only works in the movies.
Just ask her out - The problem with this one is that all the pressure is built up to one instance. Instead of naturally allowing a girl to fall for you, you have skipped everything and moved on to the end. The girl immediately wants to say no because she has had no time to make any of these decisions on her own. She will usually (even if previously interested) make up some excuse so she doesn't have to commit to something she has had no time to think about. You want to use a more natural approach that makes it seem as if she was interested first. Think of it this way; the best way to ask a girl out is to have something better to do than ask her out. In other words make her want to be a part of your life. Keep in mind that if you haven't kissed a girl within 10 hours of being with her then you probably never will (that's 10 actual hours together). LOL, no pressure though... don't worry we will cover this topic soon as well.
Stupid tips from dating websites.
The following website was the first site to appear on a Google search when I typed in "dating tips." Some of the advice on the site was decent and a few really good or true but many other tips were horrible. Ever heard the saying "you can polish a turd but it's still a turd?" Most of these tips are polished turds. They are nothing more than the same old shit that has never worked.
The site - www.topdatingtips.com
Part 1 - Dating Rules for Men
I am going to lump all the good advice together and if interested you can go read it in detail yourself. I do want to pay special attention to specific rules they give that I feel can actually hurt your game. Lets get started.
Good advice from topdatingtips.com includes; Look your best, get your hygine and style sorted out, do not drink too much, and give up smoking. This is the best advice the website had to offer in this section. All of this should just be common knowledge. They have not told us anything that can actually help us and I go back to my turd analogy. You can do all of these things and never succeed with women.
Dealing with the horrible advice given on topdatingtips.com.
3. This rule basically says that you need a successful job. Guys, I'm almost 30 and I am still a student and I take care of developmentally disabled people to pay the bills. In most circles if that was all that was known about me I would be considered a loser. What kind of 30 year old is still in school but I will tell you right now that your job is the least of your worries. There are two techniques I use to make my job a non-issue. The first is; if at all possible make your job sound like the coolest freaking job in the world. Just saying "i'm a student" is boring but if I say "I'm a history and middle eastern studies major at the university" then immediately we have things to talk about and it shows that I aspire towards a certain goal. Also if it ever comes up make what you want to do with your major sound exciting as possible. My immediate job is even easier because at work I get to party with my client and his family, I get to play Wii, do homework and all sorts of cool things no one else gets to do at work. I have a dream job. The fact that it doesn't pay well doesn't matter, it's a damn cool job. If your job really is boring and there isn't any way to make it sound fun and exciting then the next thing to try is say "there is enough time to talk about work later" or "It's my day off the last thing I want to talk about is work." Little quips like this take attention away from your job and back on to you. One a girl gets to know you the last thing she is going to worry about is your job. I know many hot women who are with unsuccessful guys because the women got to know them first. Basically this advice is no different than a guy thinking he needs to be rich to attract women.
4. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs. This is complete and utter bull shit. All you need is an arsenal of interestingness. By that I mean have many hobbies and activities that keep you busy. For example I spend a lot of time kayaking class 3 rivers, reading lots of interesting books (fiction and non-fiction), I know the night scene well, I scuba dive, back pack, travel, go to concerts, etc. I am always on the brink of doing something really fun and exciting. If someone asks you what you are doing later and your answer is always "aww, just going home" then you will not seem like someone they want to spend time with. If when they ask you that question and you say "Well tonight I have to pack because I am leaving tomorrow to go scuba diving" then that's interesting and can begin a whole conversation about diving or whatever you mentioned. Use it as a chance to show how adventurous and interesting you are. If you don't have any interesting hobbies then get some. Also broaden your scope of knowledge because you never know what kind of girl you will meet. Current affairs are good for small talk bout if you want someone to open up to you then you really need them to feel a connection to you. If i'm talking to a girl who loves art work, specifically paintings, then I am going to mention to her my interest in the Pre-Raphaelite art movement and maybe a few specific artists and art pieces. You do need to be knowledgeable in a way but it's more strategy than anything. I know a little about a lot and can usually B.S. knowing more than I do about certain subjects. This allows you to have a broad range of topics you can talk about and relate to when interacting with women. The artsy girl doesn't give a shit if you know what Brittany spears is or who Israel attacked today but if you know who the Pre-Raphaelites were, man, you got something. So be prepared to talk about things outside your immediate range of interests.
6. This kind of goes along with rule 4. If you love cars or sports, fine, but don't expect everyone else to want to hear all about it. I have a tendency to go on and on about topics I know a lot about and it has been a real challenge to over come this. I am lucky that my interests are varied and do not obligate me to spend time doing them several days a week. I think the reason they mention sports is that most guys tend to make watching and going to sporting events a lifestyle. This could also be said about gamers. Personally I can't stand sports and so this has never been an issue but I do play video games, specifically World of Warcraft. It is easy to spend tons of time playing these games and watching these sports but something we need to remember is that when there is something better to do, DO IT! If a girl comes over to see me but my guild needs me to raid, the girl wins out. In both cases they are just games and really do not matter. So enjoy these types of things but keep them in check and don't let them ruin an amazing opportunity.
9. My rule is, if you haven't gotten laid after 20 actual hours of knowing a girl then you probably never will. The author of this rule says "there is nothing more sexy than a patient man" but think to yourself how often you have been in that situation. Finally a girl likes you and you don't want to mess it up so you don't push the "sex" issue and then a few days or weeks later she dumps you. Sex is put on this pedestal and made to be more important than it really is. If you are dating a girl than it is natural for the two of you to have sex. The quicker you have sex with the girl the more she has invested in you and the longer you have to show her how great of a guy you really are. Now this does have to be gauged properly because there is the risk of becoming the king of one night stands. Also the quicker you two have sex the less important it is and you can begin to see clearly whether she is the type of woman you want or not.
10. This rule is somewhat true but not in the way they say it. These are things you should do once the girl is interested in dating you. Yes, respect all women at all times but with the rest of the tips the author seems to be trying to turn you into a girls best gay friend. Remember in the above posts when I said to be interesting, that still stands, but she doesn't care if you know a lot about fashion and jewelry. Those things are things girls should know not men. It's cool if you happen to know about them but as long as you know enough about fashion for you to look good who cares if you know about the rest. The best advice in this post is "Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too." You do not have to agree with everything she says but you should never argue with her about anything (well unless you are in a committed relationship but we'll cover that stuff later).
11. Needs clarity. You need to keep the conversation going but like the article says "don't turn into a one man entertainer." Also, do not become a game show host and ask tons of questions because this becomes annoying quick. You want to have a natural, fun conversation where both of you or everyone in the group is involved. Don't talk too much but also talk enough to keep things going. (this is the one I have the hardest time with)
13. The author suggests that you learn to dance. I'll admit that it does present you with another opportunity to meet women but honestly a fat guy dancing isn't usually a pretty sight and that's even when he's a good dancer. There are plenty of available women who aren't on the dance floor to talk to and plenty of women not at a club to talk to. Think, work, church, gym, school, etc. I can't dance and I attract many more women than most guys I know that can. It's a non-issue to me.
I could spend all day criticizing this horrible site but I think you get the point. The absolutely best advice I can give you is...
GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND OUT IN THE COMMUNITY!!!
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